The Gardener and the Carpenter
I read a butt load of parenting books and this is probably my favourite one since reading Cribsheet.
The Gardener and the Carpenter muses about how did parenting become a thing? How did it become so stressful, so structured, such high stakes?
It draws an apt analogy of parenting to carpentry — people are parenting with a specific goal in mind: my child will become a professional golfer! Just like carpentry, where you have a specific output in mind.
It weaves a story of how the pressure and expectation causes stress for everyone and that instead of having a specific outcome for your kids, instead pour your energy in creating an environment that supports your child. Let them draw their own conclusions and learn on their own — in an organic way, just like gardening.
This book resonates particularly with me because it's full of fascinating studies. It discusses things like: if you tell a child a fabrication confidently are they more or less likely to believe you about other things?
It's a really great book.
Freud: A very short introduction
I must confess I knew absolutely nothing about Freud until reading this book. One thing that stuck with me was that Freud didn't begin inventing psychotherapy until he was almost 40! Also he has the same birthday as my brother, but that is less interesting to anyone but me probably.
I can't really decide if I agree with Freud on all his thoughts — I find him really reductive. Broadly speaking he believes almost all neurosis are due to childhood sexual thoughts, and childhood can be grouped into three stages, based on what part of the body the child is currently fixated on.
That said, reading about the Oepdius Complex in detail is fascinating, enlightening and maaaybe also reductive.
I am being overly brief here but I am really enjoying this book and I highly recommend it to everyone, regardless of your interest in psychotherapy.