Trying my best to be an intentional, authentic and kind father and human.
(And also a Product Manager and tinkerer.)
"It’s so brave to feel your feelings; some people live their whole lives without being able to do that."
Perhaps, I thought, a man’s life is less like a single tree and more like a garden in the wild, under constant threat of being reclaimed by nature. The bits we want to keep must be cared for, watered, maintained. Kind of like a golf course.
Sometimes when he does, he thinks the father seems a little begrudging, walking slightly behind the child, and he wonders how many of these dads were told by their wife to take the kid out to play. He understands: He, too, is stretching to be not just a provider, that classic masculine trope, but also a nurturer—someone softer, more open. The other day, when he was visiting his cousin’s two daughters, the 5-year-old got in trouble and ran into the living room and hid behind the couch. He picked her up and took her to the mirror, and they looked at their reflections together. “You are wonderful,” he told her. “And you don’t have to worry about anything.”
There is more evidence for just how powerful role models can be. A different study that Chetty co-authored found that girls who move to areas with lots of female patent holders in a specific field are far more likely to grow up to earn patents in that same field. And another study found that Black boys who grow up on blocks with many Black fathers around, even if that doesn’t include their own father, end up with much better life outcomes.
So how do we move away from the cult of intensive parenting? Very carefully and intentionally. We have to start thinking of parenting not as a set of instructions but as several dials. Research suggests that certain dials, such as “display love,” “validate feelings,” and “set aside some regular quality time,” should absolutely be turned up to 10. Others, such as “solve your child’s (nonserious) problem for them,” should be pretty low. And many, such as “provide educational support” and “offer enrichment activities,” should be somewhere in the center. Your exact dial settings will depend on your values and your family situation, of course. All 10s and all ones are almost always a bad idea.
It’s our mission to change this [Mens suicide rates and declining mental health] through talking groups that start with asking ‘How are you? Out of 10?’ By putting a number on how we feel and explaining why, men have a way to open up and measure their mental fitness.
This seems smart in theory — make money when exporting high value things — but seems awful in reality as there is no way the US making $1.5B justifies giving China such advanced chips…
But if parents want their kids to put down their phones, they need to open the front door. Nearly three-quarters of the children in our survey agreed with the statement “I would spend less time online if there were more friends in my neighborhood to play with in person.”
I teach HS Science in the south. I can only speak for my district, buta few teacher work days in the wave of enthusiasm I'm seeing for AI tools is overwhelming. We're getting district approved ads for AI tools by email, Admin and ICs are pushing it on us, and at least half of the teaching staff seems all in at this point. I was just in a meeting with my team and one of the older teachers brought out a powerpoint for our first lesson and almost everyone agreed to use it after a quick scan- but it was missing important tested material, repetitive, and just totally airy and meaningless. Just slide after slide of the same handful of sentences rephrased with random loosely related stock photos. When I asked him if it was AI generated, he said 'of course', like it was a strange question. Then, I told the team I might go in a different direction because I wanted to avoid using AI in the classroom and the team lead made a face and told me that all of the lessons she brings for our meetings have been AI generated for the last year.
Works surprisingly well. It doesn't output Fusion360 files but you can adjust the parametric parameters within the UI.
Maybe my favourite food
D started pedaling recently and it's our favourite thing.